# 1: My boobs
A friend recently told me that gay men have "gay privilege," in that they can touch boobs without being a creepy pervert.
Now, while I have a limited supply of gay guy friends who... actually want to touch my boobs, the ones who have the good sense to use this "gay privilege" to their advantage can cure themselves of pesky societal systemic oppressions!
Yes that's right: I'm asserting that my breasts cure gay oppression, by presenting gays with an opportunity to use their gay privilege to combat systemic injustices. And who knows, maybe it'll work for other things too. Get judged for wearing burglar clothes, or brown skin? Touch my boobs. Get paid less than your male counterparts, or simply want to move up that Corporate assimilationist ladder to join the Straight White Men who are deprived of the privilege of touching my boobs? Well, no worries - because YOU can touch my boobs and heal society of these systemic justices holding you back.
Lord knows what happens if I let people touch other things.
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