Commencement regalia is ugly and stupid

In 2 days, I will finish my last day of work at Pitzer, hop in my car, and begin my trek across the country.  Naturally, it is therefore important that I stop to reflect on something (insetad of packing and being productive).  Something contraversial that you've all been waiting for me to address.

The topic: commencement regalia.
My opinion: it's stupid.

Tonight while packing, I took every single item out of my closet except for my master's graduation gown, hood, and cap.  In effort to not be a hoarder, I debated throwing it out or donating it.  But it's hard to get rid of a probably... $150 purchase, despite the fact that it's not flattering. On anyone. Ever.  The proof is below.  I look like a fool.  I'd look MORE foolish if I didn't take this picture on a 5.1 megapixel camera I bought for $29.99 at Target.

First I must say that I LOVE graduation ceremonies.  I love them.  It makes no sense.  I'm not a ceremonial type of person, I don't generally like any other type of ceremonies, and it's rather illogical that the one that's my favorite involves everyone dressing like they're in some sort of Harry Potter wannabe ugly-hat cult.  But I still love them.

Yet, here I am, with $150 worth of commencement regalia, quite possibly on the cheap side of Master's ceremony graduation garb, and I'm pissed off that I have absolutely no use for it, but can't bear to part with it because of the amount of money I spent on it.   Any Ohio State HESA grads of the class of 2011 remember the hostile string of reply-all email debates between faculty and graduate school staff as to whether we should wear white or blue hoods to graduation?  Does it matter now?  No, because you still got your degree.  And whichever color hood you bought, you looked like a dumbass at graduation. 

So, I've decided graduates should be able to wear whatever they want to graduation ceremonies from now on.  Making people buy expensive ugly commencement costumes may have some sort of traditional.symbolic significance I didn't bother to look up before forming my opinion, but whatever it is, I bet it's a classist expression of how important educated folk think we are in society (the more special you are with the higher degree you have, the uglier, more expensive costume you get to buy).

On a commencement related note, watch this commencement speech.  Because it is the best graduation speech ever.

Pridefulness.

I spent my last weekend in LA enjoying Pride festivities and hanging with awesome Trevor Project staff and volunteers.  It was a good decision. 

First, it's much better to march in the pride parade than to find a spot to watch it from the street when you're 5 feet tall. Short people can't see ANYTHING at standing events.  However, it's easier for us to sneakily take stalker pictures of Chaz Bono, because we're less noticeable.

<--Chaz in his super secret VIP tent.  Sort of.  I guess not that secret.

















Secondly, rainbows and glitter and sparkles and stuff.

I need this car.  It's... a disco ball on wheels.  The ONLY thing that could make it better is if it were rainbow colors.

Finally (but most importantly), nothing can compare to walking with an amazing organization full of caring people in a parade while mayyyybe 5 or 7 anti-gay protestors hold up signs and shout homophobic things and your co-volunteers and friends keep waving, smiling, and saying things like "We love you," refusing to be brought down by ignorance or anti-gay rhetoric.  Seriously good people.  I've learned so much from them. 
I experienced 2 seconds of anger today when I saw these protestors (what are you protesting exactly...other people's existence???) targeting the Pride Parade - um, yeah, this event is a lost battle for you, sorry.  But it is virtually impossible to see a handful of naysayers shouting silly things to people on the streets - then look around and see tens of thousands of lovely Los Angeles LGBT people and allies - and not feel your anger being erased.  You know I like to criticize (yet...you love me anyway!) but in all optimistic seriousness, it was incredible today to see an incomprehensibly large crowd of people be out, and be allies, and be accepting and loving of everyone - so drastically outweight a handful of people that sadly haven't learned love yet.
It made me - well - PROUD.

Roadtrip preparation: T minus 9 days

Today I decided to buckle down and start packing up my apartment and planning my roadtrip.  Here's what I accomplished:

1. Realized I left my (broken) camera at my parent's house in Maryland, and that I'd need a camera to document my trip.  Contemplated an old-school disposable camera, but decided I couldn't wait to get film developed because I need to be able to post pictures on my blog daily (ish).  Went to target in search of a cheap digital camera (read: low megapixel digital cameras meant for children).   Barely resisted buying an AWESOME $40 Crayola camera in favor of a $30, 5.1 megapixel Vivitar camera.

2.  Decided I needed a packing snack, so stopped at the grocery store to buy Kale and came home to dehydrate some kale chips.  Took a really creepy picture of me eating kale to test out my new camera.  Mediocre at best, but well worth the $30 (actuallllly about $27 after discovering a Santa Claus target gift card with just over 3 dollars left on it...presumably, from Christmas).

3.  Stopped at 7-11 to redeem a free lottery ticket, that I won on another lottery ticket in December, that I got at my boss' boss holiday party.  Contemplated waiting to scratch off my new lottery ticket, then heard Gwen Stefani's "What you waiting for" on the radio and realized for first time that she repeatedly sings "Take a chance you stupid ho."   Yelled back at the radio, 'I'm not a ho!' but still took it as a sign to immediately scratch off my lottery ticket.

4. Got depressed at my losing lottery ticket and remembered I could sing less insulting Gwen Stefani songs on my karaoke machine at home.  Immediately went home to sing karaoke and cheer myself up.

5. Threw a bunch of stuff on my apartment floor to begin organizing and packing, but realized I was too tired from karaoke.  Reasoned that I accomplished alot for the day and gave up to sit on my couch and watch Modern Family reruns.

Yep.   I'm productive.

Road trip 2012

Despite my blog title starting with 'adventures,' I've been thinking lately that I rarely write about... adventures.  It's more my soapbox to discuss politics, ideas, and criticize people for not doing things my way (yeah, I can admit that. It's not easy always being right.  I think I get it from my mom).

So, in anticipating of my big road trip home (you know, the one where I quit my job and decided to drive across the country to move back into my parents' house, unemployed and not sure what I want to do next) I've decided that I should obviously blog about it. 

The goal: an extended roadtrip on the cheap - consistently documented in my blog (as you may know, I have issues with writing consistently...).  While I COULD do the 42 hour drive in 4 10.5-hour days of driving (or 3 14-hour days, or 5 8.4-hour days), the obvious choice is to extend my "vacation" as long as possible and delay the realities of unemployment, extending my drive into a 2 week long extravaganza in which I explore hidden middle USA hippie towns and forage for vegan food at gas stations. 

Because I want to be a role model for the kids, I will document everything - how to fundraise for a roadtrip you can't afford, how to survive cheaply, and um...any sort of adventures I can scrounge up along the way.  It has just occurred to me I'm not actually very adventures.  But I'm gonna give it a try.  Please read my blog.  I'm one week and  3 days away from unemployment, and it'll help my self-esteem to hear your validating comments (even if you don't mean them).

Love,
Stephanie

Why I don't care that Obama supports same-sex marriage

Alright that title's a bit misleading.  I care.  And I'm glad he supports it.  Finally. 

But can those of us who support same-sex marriage please not forget how long it took him to decide to be assertive on the issue - to do the right thing?  Yes, yes I know you all want to celebrate this historical moment and it needed to happen.  But when I look back on this historical moment, I'm not going to forget all the history that led up to it.  The fact that Obama supported same-sex marriage in earlier days as a politician are not an indication that his views have been 'evolving' on same-sex marriage.    We know his consideration of same-sex marriage is about votes and electability - please don't be deluded into thinking otherwise. 

And yes, I know, electability is an important thing for a politician to consider - if you're not re-elected, you can't make some of the changes you want to make and blah blah blah.   But am I the only one who feels insulted that it is only NOW important enough for him to stand behind an issue that he likely has supported personally for decades?  Now that the Vice President made some pro-equality comments that made Obama look ass backwards.   Thanks for finally making the decision to be an ally to the queer community on the issue of marriage - we appreciate your time and consideration.  I hope you've enjoyed your nearly 20 year marriage in the meantime. 

In a position as influential as say, President of our country, are we really willing to dismiss the fact he ignored and avoided this issue for years, when he likely has been quietly on the side of same-sex marriage for a long time?  I guess it's an easy issue to avoid when you know your wife could make decisions if you were hospitalized and vice versa.  It's not an easy issue to avoid for many.

Think of all the horror stories you've heard about same-sex couples being denied rights over one another - the partners who couldn't attend funerals because the partner's family wouldn't allow it.  The partners who couldn't make decisions on behalf of a loved one in the hospital.  The partners who lost the children they raised with the biological parent - because once s/he dies, partner has no legal guardianship over the children.  Obama speaking out for same sex marriage today does NOT erase the fact that he could have - um, SHOULD have - pushed for progress sooner. 

Am I glad Obama finally found his integrity and spoke what needed to be said? Of course.   I don't know if pro same-sex marriage or anti same-sex marriage voters will rally harder - I don't know if this will affect his electability this fall. But I assure you he's thought long and hard on that consideration.  

Please don't accept "Ok, now I support same-sex marriage" as repentence for his years of apathy and avoiding the subject when he damn well knows better.  I'm not saying that it isn't a good thing that Obama spoke out in support of same-sex marriage, of course it is. But as a leader, as a President, as a person who claims to be an ally to queer communities - I think he deserves a little criticism here - not just the enthusiastic pride and excitement from queer communities and allies that I've seen throughout the day. Let's celebrate when action is taken.  I'm not giving anyone a cookie for making the sensical statement that, hmm, maybe equality and civil rights are a good thing.

Is freedom free?

So I've been pretty closely following the uprising in Egypt the last couple of days.  It may not surprise you that I love a good protest and power to the people and all that - though I worry about what will happen and particularly about more people getting hurt or killed.

Today I was watching a news story about some Egyptians using social media to organize.  Though they can't currently get online and cell phone service is shut off, apparently cell service has been working intermittently and some people can use apps to access social media.  It's hard to not feel stupid using facebook to announce my annoyance with classes or my excitement to see a friend when people in Egypt are using it to organize resistance to the government. 

Last night I was out with some friends, listening to a cover band at a local bar.  We all had a good time, but the one song I couldn't make myself dance to was Superman that Ho.  I support the Egyptian people in their quest for free speech and all, but some of the assanine shit that people come up with in the US thanks to our free speech just astounds me.  At some point it occurred to me that the dance floor was crowded with 20-somethings lewdly dancing to a song that frankly is not so covert in its message about subjecting women to the sexual dominance of men while thousands of miles away, Egyptians are sneaking onto facebook and twitter to build solidarity and support in their movement for a better country and government.

"Do you think our lives are trivial?" I asked Jenn
"Yes." She responded immediately.

I'm feeling a little torn on the issue of free speech because I've heard too many people rationalizing sexism or blatantly singing about the sexual objectification and domination of women to be able to detach myself from it this week.  I think usually it's so easy for all of us to become desensitized to inequitable power dynamics that are so much a part of our every day lives, but sometimes, it's just all you can see.  And do I think people should have the freedom to perpetuate messages that are racist, sexist, homophobic, and so on?  I guess, because if they couldn't then the rest of us couldn't spread our messages opposing white capitalist patriarchy (thanks for that language, bell hooks).

People in Egypt are using their freedom to speak out against the government, calling for combatting poverty and joblessness, as well as demanding rights to free speech and access to methods of communication.  And what are we doing?  Using our free speech to Superman that Ho.

Custom made vinyl pants

The only way I can keep a straight face right now is by documenting this, so that I am distracted with a task that does not involve laughing at/with the conversation I'm overhearing right now.  Ok, overhearing might be less accurate than eavesdropping on, as I have headphones in and am listening to nothing to make it look like I am not eavesdropping.

"Have you met Molly?"
"I think so.  Was she at the flogging thing?"
"When was that - right before Christmas?"
"No, no, the flogging party was right after Christmas."

I have gathered that the people sitting at the table next to me in the coffeeshop are swingers, or some other label one might use to describe people who are sexually open and attend various types of fetish and sex parties.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not judging.  In fact, I kind of admire their ability to meet up at a coffeeshop and discuss their sexcapades, fetishes, and comfort levels with different sexual practices in not so hushed tones.

I've gathered so far that the man next to me is comfortable with topping, and that the woman admires vinyl pants - which are sexier and more comfortable than leather.  I've also gathered that both of them are impressed with someone's penis, which "was a big hit" at a recent party.  I think the nice penis belonged to the person who wore custom-made vinyl pants, but I can't be sure.  It's all I can do right now to not actually pick up my chair and move a little closer, or to start asking them personal questions about their sex lives - which I find much more interesting than writing a case study for class.  It's not every day I get to hear this sort of conversation in a coffee shop, and I'm finding it much more entertaining than the racist situation I witnessed earlier (see http://safaristeph.tumblr.com/).   I haven't heard talks this good since I worked for a fairly radical nonprofit that worked to affirm sexual freedom.  So - I guess it's refreshing that these people feel safe enough to have this sort of conversation in a public space.