Thankfully.
If you're wondering why this is my first post of my roadtrip adventures that has no pictures, it's because there's nothing worth taking pictures of in Kansas.
I know that's harsh, and rude, and I apologize - every place I visit, even if it's not my favorite, I try to be respectful of the fact that people live there, and there have to be some redeeming qualities everywhere. There must be some good qualities of Kansas, but they are certainly not visible from I-70. Unless you think pretty landscape is grass, dead grass, and wheat.
Yesterday I drove the 846 miles from Denver to St Louis. This wasn't quite the plan - I stopped in Kansas City, Missouri, where I had a hotel room for an employee rate thanks to a relative. Of course, they wouldn't let me use the employee rate without a staff ID card, which I obviously didn't have, so when I realized it would cost me 2.5 times more than expected, responsible unemployed citizen that I am, I drove across the street to a no-name motel advertising rooms for 40 dollars a night.
I'm not totally naive - I know that 40 dollars for a night won't get me a continental breakfast, plush cozy bedding, Wifi, or a pool. All I really ask for is that bedding be clean, the door be lockable, and a functioning smoke detector be in the room.
I checked into this no name motel (actually, it has a name I'm considering reporting to the Department of Sanitation...as well as the local Fire Department) and proceeded to room 120, and called Amanda to let her know I'd safely arrived somewhere from the night post-Denver. Oddly, it was while I was on the phone with this fire protection engineer friend of mine that I noticed the smoke detector was sitting on the floor, battery-lessly, next to a wall with distinctive black burn marks. Her response was "No, you can't stay there," but I decided to first check for bed bugs and if I didn't see anything gross or alarming on the bed, it was do-able for the night. Though I didn't find bed bugs, I quickly noticed the burn marks on the comforter and sheets, followed by some hair on the sheets that....we'll just say confirmed my suspicions that they weren't washed after a previous visitor. Er, visitors - plural, probably.
This is when I ventured back to the motel office to let them know I'd need a refund and would not be staying there that night.
I hate being that person - I really do - it's not like I didn't know I was getting some shady accomodations for $40 - but as I mentioned, the only basics I expect for that low price are clean sheets and a room where I am sufficiently warned if there is a fire.
"Um hi - listen, I don't mean to be difficult - " I started with the staff person who checked me in "but there are a few problems with that room."
"Give her a different room," spoke a man nearby that I quickly realized to be the manager.
"Well actually...," I started to say, I just want a refund and to get the hell out of here before bed bugs start climbing on me. But I never got the chance.
"Oh that's okay, we'll just give you a refund."
"Oh um - perfect. Just so you know, the smoke detector in that room..."
But again I was interrupted.
"Oh sure, there are some problems. But look at our clientele. That's what you get."
A second later, I did indeed get to look at the client(ele), as she burst through the door screaming that they let someone else into her room. A woman, probably no more than my age, wearing the uniform of a nearby retail store, erupted into a screaming rant about how she just got back from work and someone else was in her room.
"I paid for a WEEK," she started "I don't have to be out until TOMORROW, and you *&#*% # gave my room away!!"
I watched as she and the manager, who had politely, almost psychically accomodated my request, both screamed at each other, arguing about whether she had to be out Sunday at 11am or 11pm. Though the client was obviously wrong, I didn't stay to see whose screaming finished last, and quickly scrawled my signature on the refund receipt the staff person printed for me and bolted for the door.
Now to be fair to Kansas - this ordeal was actually in Missouri, which misguidedly allows itself to have a city named after the most boring state in the Union (again, apologies to any Kansas lovers). But after wasting 6 hours of my life driving through possibly the most boring landscape known to mankind, and witnessing up close how this business owner legitimately did not care whether impoverished long-term clients died in a fire or not in own of his rooms, I was pretty done with the whole region.
So I trekked on another 4 hours to St Louis, where I planned to arrive on Monday evening, to stay with a friend, Abby, from grad school. Though this meant skipping my hippie-town adventure planned for Westport, Mo on Monday, I am perfectly okay with this. And will be satisfied if I never venture into Kansas, or Kansas city, ever again.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
What I'm doing in Denver
Many of you have asked what I'm doing in Denver. Or, like 2 people have asked that but I'm sure everyone else is wondering and I don't know what else to write about today, but feel that I should write something as I set that pesky goal for myself of consistently writing and it's been about 4 days since that has happened.
So, here's what I'm doing in Denver.
1. Taking some time off of my 2700 mile drive home, the first 1000 miles of which looked something like this (why yes, I am drinking iced coffee out of a pink sparkly Las Vegas travel mug). Don't worry, I was parked when I took this picture.
So, here's what I'm doing in Denver.
1. Taking some time off of my 2700 mile drive home, the first 1000 miles of which looked something like this (why yes, I am drinking iced coffee out of a pink sparkly Las Vegas travel mug). Don't worry, I was parked when I took this picture.
2. Getting a pedicure while drinking 1/2 priced wine. Best Thursday evening activity ever. At least, I think it will be. It hasn't happened yet...as it is not yet Thursday evening.
3. Touring the Celestial Tea Factory, and wondering why you'd give away free tours of your factory if you're so concerned about spies that no photos are allowed inside. If you're concerned about spies - don't give out free tours. Am I right?
4. Marveling over how stylish I look in a hair net at the tea factory.
5. Baking the same cake Ellen Degeneres and Portia DeRossi eat, from Vegan Cooking for Carnivores, by Roberto Martin (Ellen and Portia's chef). Then eating cake for lunch.
6. Watching the entire series of Arrested Development (for the 15th time or so) in Amanda's living room while she's at work. While searching for jobs online, of course.
7. Taking life advice from the mother of a 10 year old while lounging in the hot tub at 9:30pm. Hearing about how terrifying it is to have a pre-teen in days where kids are becoming sexually active at incredibly young ages. Making plans to bring wine the next time I visit the public pool/hot tub in Amanda's apartment complex.
8. Making friends with Sparkly people.
9. Exercising at high-altitudes (mile high city!) in Amanda's zumba class so that exercising feels incredibly easy when I don't want to pass out at over 5,000 feet altitude. Seriously, high altitudes kick my ass.
10. Waiting for Amanda to be off work for the weekend for some quality friend time!
Happy Thursday!
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Arches, hippie food, and 549 miles
Yesterday, I drove from Salina to Arches National Park. Proof that I was there:
Then I headed over to the Peace Tree Juice Cafe (did I mention when I planned this trip, my first step was googling "Hippie Towns USA"??) for a tasty hummus wrap and Desert Nectar smoothie. Next time you're in Moab - stop there for some deliciousness (and if my hippie vegan tendencies in food don't appeal to you, never fear, they have animal products too).
It's a wonder I made it over 500 miles yesterday considering I felt compelled to stop every 20 miles or so for photo ops. Utah is freaking beautiful.
It is ALSO a wonder I made it to Denver; as I drove through the mountains in Colorado while my car refused to venture over 50 miles (when the speed limit was 65 to 75 mph the entire way) an hour up the steep grade, I patted it on the dash chanting "I think you can I think you can I think you can."
Luckily, my car agreed with me and she did in fact, make it over the hill.
In Denver for a fun filled week with my friend Amanda, then 1689 miles to go!
The park was gorgeous. See my facebook album with dozens of poor quality photos. After completing a 2 mile hike in 93 degree weather, I approached my car and overheard what I thought was a gay male couple speaking in French. Then, I overheard one of the men tell the others that I was pretty - an awesome compliment to hear as the beads of sweat dripped down my back.
Then I headed over to the Peace Tree Juice Cafe (did I mention when I planned this trip, my first step was googling "Hippie Towns USA"??) for a tasty hummus wrap and Desert Nectar smoothie. Next time you're in Moab - stop there for some deliciousness (and if my hippie vegan tendencies in food don't appeal to you, never fear, they have animal products too).
It's a wonder I made it over 500 miles yesterday considering I felt compelled to stop every 20 miles or so for photo ops. Utah is freaking beautiful.
It is ALSO a wonder I made it to Denver; as I drove through the mountains in Colorado while my car refused to venture over 50 miles (when the speed limit was 65 to 75 mph the entire way) an hour up the steep grade, I patted it on the dash chanting "I think you can I think you can I think you can."
Luckily, my car agreed with me and she did in fact, make it over the hill.
In Denver for a fun filled week with my friend Amanda, then 1689 miles to go!
Sand Angels
My last week in LA looked a little something like this (and my previous post on Pride):
Yes, that is me laying face down in the sand, making upside down "sand angels." After saying important goodbyes to the beach and to lots of awesome people, I headed out yesterday for my first leg of the trip.
I drove 539 miles - from Claremont, CA to Salina, UT. I planned to write this post last night upon arrival at my hotel, but on my drive I decided it would be a good idea to write my blog post from the perspective of my car. Yes that's right, I thought it was a good idea...to write as if I were my own car speaking. Luckily, I realized this was a sign that I needed sleep so I held off on writing until today (which means today's post will ALSO be a day late).
Highlights:
I drove 539 miles - from Claremont, CA to Salina, UT. I planned to write this post last night upon arrival at my hotel, but on my drive I decided it would be a good idea to write my blog post from the perspective of my car. Yes that's right, I thought it was a good idea...to write as if I were my own car speaking. Luckily, I realized this was a sign that I needed sleep so I held off on writing until today (which means today's post will ALSO be a day late).
Highlights:
- I saw an old guy shimmy face down under a barbed wire fence in Nevada. Do not ask me what he was doing there, I don't know (littering, I think). I literally just watched him once he was somehow already inside the fence contemplate how he would get out and lay down on his stomach and inched his way underneath. He is a fool.
- I resisted the temptation to stop in Vegas and live there while trying to make it as a professional poker player. I saw an affordable rate advertised on weekly studio apartments from the highway, and after mentally calculating how long I could afford to live there with my current checking and savings accounts, spent about 10 minutes talking myself out of giving up on my cross-country drive, renting a room for a week, and gambling to make money. All good plans obviously start with gambling to make income.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Commencement regalia is ugly and stupid
In 2 days, I will finish my last day of work at Pitzer, hop in my car, and begin my trek across the country. Naturally, it is therefore important that I stop to reflect on something (insetad of packing and being productive). Something contraversial that you've all been waiting for me to address.
The topic: commencement regalia.
My opinion: it's stupid.
Tonight while packing, I took every single item out of my closet except for my master's graduation gown, hood, and cap. In effort to not be a hoarder, I debated throwing it out or donating it. But it's hard to get rid of a probably... $150 purchase, despite the fact that it's not flattering. On anyone. Ever. The proof is below. I look like a fool. I'd look MORE foolish if I didn't take this picture on a 5.1 megapixel camera I bought for $29.99 at Target.
The topic: commencement regalia.
My opinion: it's stupid.
Tonight while packing, I took every single item out of my closet except for my master's graduation gown, hood, and cap. In effort to not be a hoarder, I debated throwing it out or donating it. But it's hard to get rid of a probably... $150 purchase, despite the fact that it's not flattering. On anyone. Ever. The proof is below. I look like a fool. I'd look MORE foolish if I didn't take this picture on a 5.1 megapixel camera I bought for $29.99 at Target.
First I must say that I LOVE graduation ceremonies. I love them. It makes no sense. I'm not a ceremonial type of person, I don't generally like any other type of ceremonies, and it's rather illogical that the one that's my favorite involves everyone dressing like they're in some sort of Harry Potter wannabe ugly-hat cult. But I still love them.
Yet, here I am, with $150 worth of commencement regalia, quite possibly on the cheap side of Master's ceremony graduation garb, and I'm pissed off that I have absolutely no use for it, but can't bear to part with it because of the amount of money I spent on it. Any Ohio State HESA grads of the class of 2011 remember the hostile string of reply-all email debates between faculty and graduate school staff as to whether we should wear white or blue hoods to graduation? Does it matter now? No, because you still got your degree. And whichever color hood you bought, you looked like a dumbass at graduation.
So, I've decided graduates should be able to wear whatever they want to graduation ceremonies from now on. Making people buy expensive ugly commencement costumes may have some sort of traditional.symbolic significance I didn't bother to look up before forming my opinion, but whatever it is, I bet it's a classist expression of how important educated folk think we are in society (the more special you are with the higher degree you have, the uglier, more expensive costume you get to buy).
On a commencement related note, watch this commencement speech. Because it is the best graduation speech ever.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Pridefulness.
I spent my last weekend in LA enjoying Pride festivities and hanging with awesome Trevor Project staff and volunteers. It was a good decision.
First, it's much better to march in the pride parade than to find a spot to watch it from the street when you're 5 feet tall. Short people can't see ANYTHING at standing events. However, it's easier for us to sneakily take stalker pictures of Chaz Bono, because we're less noticeable.
<--Chaz in his super secret VIP tent. Sort of. I guess not that secret.
Secondly, rainbows and glitter and sparkles and stuff.
I need this car. It's... a disco ball on wheels. The ONLY thing that could make it better is if it were rainbow colors.
Finally (but most importantly), nothing can compare to walking with an amazing organization full of caring people in a parade while mayyyybe 5 or 7 anti-gay protestors hold up signs and shout homophobic things and your co-volunteers and friends keep waving, smiling, and saying things like "We love you," refusing to be brought down by ignorance or anti-gay rhetoric. Seriously good people. I've learned so much from them.
I experienced 2 seconds of anger today when I saw these protestors (what are you protesting exactly...other people's existence???) targeting the Pride Parade - um, yeah, this event is a lost battle for you, sorry. But it is virtually impossible to see a handful of naysayers shouting silly things to people on the streets - then look around and see tens of thousands of lovely Los Angeles LGBT people and allies - and not feel your anger being erased. You know I like to criticize (yet...you love me anyway!) but in all optimistic seriousness, it was incredible today to see an incomprehensibly large crowd of people be out, and be allies, and be accepting and loving of everyone - so drastically outweight a handful of people that sadly haven't learned love yet.
It made me - well - PROUD.
First, it's much better to march in the pride parade than to find a spot to watch it from the street when you're 5 feet tall. Short people can't see ANYTHING at standing events. However, it's easier for us to sneakily take stalker pictures of Chaz Bono, because we're less noticeable.
<--Chaz in his super secret VIP tent. Sort of. I guess not that secret.
Secondly, rainbows and glitter and sparkles and stuff.
I need this car. It's... a disco ball on wheels. The ONLY thing that could make it better is if it were rainbow colors.
Finally (but most importantly), nothing can compare to walking with an amazing organization full of caring people in a parade while mayyyybe 5 or 7 anti-gay protestors hold up signs and shout homophobic things and your co-volunteers and friends keep waving, smiling, and saying things like "We love you," refusing to be brought down by ignorance or anti-gay rhetoric. Seriously good people. I've learned so much from them.
I experienced 2 seconds of anger today when I saw these protestors (what are you protesting exactly...other people's existence???) targeting the Pride Parade - um, yeah, this event is a lost battle for you, sorry. But it is virtually impossible to see a handful of naysayers shouting silly things to people on the streets - then look around and see tens of thousands of lovely Los Angeles LGBT people and allies - and not feel your anger being erased. You know I like to criticize (yet...you love me anyway!) but in all optimistic seriousness, it was incredible today to see an incomprehensibly large crowd of people be out, and be allies, and be accepting and loving of everyone - so drastically outweight a handful of people that sadly haven't learned love yet.
It made me - well - PROUD.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Roadtrip preparation: T minus 9 days
Today I decided to buckle down and start packing up my apartment and planning my roadtrip. Here's what I accomplished:
1. Realized I left my (broken) camera at my parent's house in Maryland, and that I'd need a camera to document my trip. Contemplated an old-school disposable camera, but decided I couldn't wait to get film developed because I need to be able to post pictures on my blog daily (ish). Went to target in search of a cheap digital camera (read: low megapixel digital cameras meant for children). Barely resisted buying an AWESOME $40 Crayola camera in favor of a $30, 5.1 megapixel Vivitar camera.
2. Decided I needed a packing snack, so stopped at the grocery store to buy Kale and came home to dehydrate some kale chips. Took a really creepy picture of me eating kale to test out my new camera. Mediocre at best, but well worth the $30 (actuallllly about $27 after discovering a Santa Claus target gift card with just over 3 dollars left on it...presumably, from Christmas).
3. Stopped at 7-11 to redeem a free lottery ticket, that I won on another lottery ticket in December, that I got at my boss' boss holiday party. Contemplated waiting to scratch off my new lottery ticket, then heard Gwen Stefani's "What you waiting for" on the radio and realized for first time that she repeatedly sings "Take a chance you stupid ho." Yelled back at the radio, 'I'm not a ho!' but still took it as a sign to immediately scratch off my lottery ticket.
4. Got depressed at my losing lottery ticket and remembered I could sing less insulting Gwen Stefani songs on my karaoke machine at home. Immediately went home to sing karaoke and cheer myself up.
5. Threw a bunch of stuff on my apartment floor to begin organizing and packing, but realized I was too tired from karaoke. Reasoned that I accomplished alot for the day and gave up to sit on my couch and watch Modern Family reruns.
Yep. I'm productive.
1. Realized I left my (broken) camera at my parent's house in Maryland, and that I'd need a camera to document my trip. Contemplated an old-school disposable camera, but decided I couldn't wait to get film developed because I need to be able to post pictures on my blog daily (ish). Went to target in search of a cheap digital camera (read: low megapixel digital cameras meant for children). Barely resisted buying an AWESOME $40 Crayola camera in favor of a $30, 5.1 megapixel Vivitar camera.
2. Decided I needed a packing snack, so stopped at the grocery store to buy Kale and came home to dehydrate some kale chips. Took a really creepy picture of me eating kale to test out my new camera. Mediocre at best, but well worth the $30 (actuallllly about $27 after discovering a Santa Claus target gift card with just over 3 dollars left on it...presumably, from Christmas).3. Stopped at 7-11 to redeem a free lottery ticket, that I won on another lottery ticket in December, that I got at my boss' boss holiday party. Contemplated waiting to scratch off my new lottery ticket, then heard Gwen Stefani's "What you waiting for" on the radio and realized for first time that she repeatedly sings "Take a chance you stupid ho." Yelled back at the radio, 'I'm not a ho!' but still took it as a sign to immediately scratch off my lottery ticket.
4. Got depressed at my losing lottery ticket and remembered I could sing less insulting Gwen Stefani songs on my karaoke machine at home. Immediately went home to sing karaoke and cheer myself up.
Yep. I'm productive.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Road trip 2012
Despite my blog title starting with 'adventures,' I've been thinking lately that I rarely write about... adventures. It's more my soapbox to discuss politics, ideas, and criticize people for not doing things my way (yeah, I can admit that. It's not easy always being right. I think I get it from my mom).
So, in anticipating of my big road trip home (you know, the one where I quit my job and decided to drive across the country to move back into my parents' house, unemployed and not sure what I want to do next) I've decided that I should obviously blog about it.
The goal: an extended roadtrip on the cheap - consistently documented in my blog (as you may know, I have issues with writing consistently...). While I COULD do the 42 hour drive in 4 10.5-hour days of driving (or 3 14-hour days, or 5 8.4-hour days), the obvious choice is to extend my "vacation" as long as possible and delay the realities of unemployment, extending my drive into a 2 week long extravaganza in which I explore hidden middle USA hippie towns and forage for vegan food at gas stations.
Because I want to be a role model for the kids, I will document everything - how to fundraise for a roadtrip you can't afford, how to survive cheaply, and um...any sort of adventures I can scrounge up along the way. It has just occurred to me I'm not actually very adventures. But I'm gonna give it a try. Please read my blog. I'm one week and 3 days away from unemployment, and it'll help my self-esteem to hear your validating comments (even if you don't mean them).
Love,
Stephanie
So, in anticipating of my big road trip home (you know, the one where I quit my job and decided to drive across the country to move back into my parents' house, unemployed and not sure what I want to do next) I've decided that I should obviously blog about it.
The goal: an extended roadtrip on the cheap - consistently documented in my blog (as you may know, I have issues with writing consistently...). While I COULD do the 42 hour drive in 4 10.5-hour days of driving (or 3 14-hour days, or 5 8.4-hour days), the obvious choice is to extend my "vacation" as long as possible and delay the realities of unemployment, extending my drive into a 2 week long extravaganza in which I explore hidden middle USA hippie towns and forage for vegan food at gas stations.
Because I want to be a role model for the kids, I will document everything - how to fundraise for a roadtrip you can't afford, how to survive cheaply, and um...any sort of adventures I can scrounge up along the way. It has just occurred to me I'm not actually very adventures. But I'm gonna give it a try. Please read my blog. I'm one week and 3 days away from unemployment, and it'll help my self-esteem to hear your validating comments (even if you don't mean them).
Love,
Stephanie
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